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Aren’t You Tired of the Bullshit?

November 27, 2011

The excrement floweth over and we’ve more than happy to just sit around and declare the faecal matter that covers everything around us to be the source of Hope and Change in this country.

As they’d say in French: Actually, I’m not sure what they’d say in French but it would be along the lines of old wine in a new bottle, or the same old excrement in a fancy Japanese toilet that reads out the news of the day to you while keeping your bottom warm. At the end of the unfortunate day that we call home, or those outside of it call the Islamic Republic of Pakistan, we are left with an excess of effluence.

I really have tried to give Imran Khan a chance. I have actively tried to convince myself that he will be our source of Hope and Change. I thought him speaking on women’s education (mind you, that was the only aspect of women’s rights he spoke of – as though education alone will help defeat patriarchy. Please, for the love of all that is holy Imran Khan, read.), the rights of domestic staff, and the expansion of the tax base was wonderful. For a moment I tossed my cynicism out the window and basked in the Hope & Change on display at Minto Park.

Didn’t take long to snap out of it though. How is Imran Khan truly evocative of change given the recent developments in his party?

Let’s begin with the ‘fresh and clean’ faces that have joined his party. You know, like Shah Mehmood Qureshi, who just joined his party in the biggest debutante ball known to mankind. Imran Khan will of course rid us of the scourge of inherited privilege and feudalism by aligning with a Gaddi Nasheen. Not just any Gaddi Nasheen, but one who has now been involved with three parties over the course of his political career. (For those who’re just joining in the conversation SMQ has been in the PMLN, the PPP, and now the PTI.)

While we’re talking about SMQ let’s also talk about his referring to himself as Mahmud Ghaznavi. The same Ghaznavi who attacked India numerous times to, uh, rid them of idolatry? By which I mean rob the riches of Somnath for his own personal empire.

And SMQ, while declaring someone a ‘Firaun’, like you did that crook Zardari,  it’s always better to not have sat with them so closely in power for three years.


There’s that other group of fresh faces joining Imran Khan too. I am referring to Jahangir Tareen and his ‘Clean Party’. The ‘Clean Party’ ‘s slogan is quite clearly ‘Clean Since 2008’ ™. So what if Jahangir Tareen is the human embodiment of big business in Pakistan? The same big business that along with our feudal and bureaucratic system is responsible for numerous hardships on the Pakistani people. Oh, and did I mention that they all used to be in the PMLQ? That’s right, the same PMLQ that was Musharraf’s King’s Party.

Three years since Musharraf’s capitulation, we’re meant to believe that his supporters are now ardent supporters of democracy? Give me a fucking break. This is the same ‘tola’ of people that changes allegiances depending on the direction that the wind blows.

Almost everyone following Pakistani politics predicted that the ‘Clean Party’ would join the PTI at some time or another. And lo and behold, they’ve proven all us skeptics wrongs by, uh, joining the PTI.

While on the matter of lotas allow me to congratulate Shafqat Mehmood for joining the PTI. He has been in so many parties at this point in time that Sunday Magazine should devote an entire segment to him.


I would like to dedicate an entire paragraph to Mian Azhar, but I’m afraid the man is so boring that I can’t. I’ll just leave it at this: the man couldn’t win a rigged election when he was in the PMLQ. Rigged. PMLQ. MIAN AZHAR.


Anyone truly sincere to Pakistan would at least pay some credence to the Civilian-Military relationship in our country. The military is partially or entirely responsible for the morass we find ourselves in (And no, Christine Fair, innocent Pakistanis should not have to pay for the sins of our establishment over which we have nearly no control. And FYI, we already had our great anti-ISI / MIL demonstration. It was called 2007-2008. Look it up.)

Allow me to clarify, when I criticize the role of our military I speak of the Generals and Corps Commanders who set our military and foreign policy. The soldiers in the military are as much pawns in the wicked games of our establishment as all of us civilians are.  Just wait five or six days. The wanton murder of 26 or more soldiers at the checkpost at the hands of NATO will be used to negotiate a better trucking deal.

Bhai, money makes the world go round. Our khaki lords and masters adhere very closely to this view.

Imran Khan’s talking points are directly reflective of that of the military. While I believe that the Haqqani resignation was the right way to move ahead from the Memogate scandal*, Imran Khan bringing up the accusation prior to it being on anyone’s radar should cause everyone to prick their ears.

In my last post I made a reference to Imran Khan’s close team of advisors which caused me pause. This group of advisers has been so closely associated with the military, and has been so supportive of its hegemony over us that it now makes me shudder. Not a single member of his party has spoken out to condemn the role of the military in Pakistani politics.

In fact, Umar Cheema, the spokesperson of the Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaaf went to lengths avoiding criticism of the military or the PTI’s association with the military when posed the question by Sana Bucha on GEO’s Leikin. Daal mein kuchh kaala tau hai.


There is this last point I’d like to make, which I must admit, is still somewhat half baked. Imran Khan himself would be considered an ‘elite’ of Pakistani society. The upper-middle and upper classes that serve as the source of his power are also an ‘elite’ of our society. What Imran Khan represents is not real change but the replacement of an elite superstructure (feudal, old money), with a new one (urban, newer money).

Of course, many of Imran Khan’s supporters stem from this class. Their argument would be that they’ve never had a chance to voice their opinion. Except for the 80s, and the 00s up until 2008. In short, what I’d like to say is the following, “Dear Upper Middle and Upper Classes, You have had a chance in the past. And we’re still in the same pool of shit that we’ve always been in. Just let real democracy work out. If IK wins, I will accept it wholeheartedly.”

I just hope he doesn’t.


* Husain Haqqani’s guilt is still unproven. His resignation, according to the PM and his office, was to ensure that the inquiry into the memogate scandal was fair and partial. Replacing him with Sherry Rehman was a stroke of genius though. Whoever came up with that decision has my begrudging respect.

32 Comments leave one →
  1. Asfandyar permalink
    November 27, 2011 3:46 pm

    The whole IK is educated/educated vote bullshit drives me insane. Most of the people extolling his virtues are braindead morons who keep slipping on their own drool.

    It’s shocking that these people don’t realize their man of change is unwilling to even think about taking on the biggest bulwark to democracy, prosperity and progressiveness – the goddamn khaki thundercunts.

  2. raj permalink
    November 27, 2011 4:32 pm

    the people of pak need to stop supporting/defending the army an accept the military-jehadi nexus. even tday u guys live in denial and defend ur army when 26/11 is discussed and THAT is the fault of pak civilians!! sure the civilians did not plan, execute or even support any of these attacks…but ur army, which is a national institution, did. by supporting/defending them, u r hindering justice!! if pak civilians truly want peace and do not want to be blamed for the mistakes made by the army then u need to be more vocal and outright in ur condemnation and stop living in denial. wake up and accept…..ur army is responsible for terror attacks in india and afghanistan!

    to solve a problem u 1st need to recognise it, and im afraid pak civilians are still living in denial which is why the have not even accepted the true problem till now, which fyi, is not RAW or Mossad or CIA, it is the Pak Army and their jehadi cunt friends like LeT and JeM!!!

  3. November 27, 2011 5:06 pm

    Thanks for picking apart IK, bit by bit. It was only marginally shocking to see his party become, as some wag called it, a laundromat for old lotas. The realities of Pakistani politics, and how consistently the shit remains the same, is likely to shut his supporters up for some time.

  4. Javed Miandad permalink
    November 27, 2011 6:47 pm

    you are absolutely right about Imran, lets vote fo zardari again next time to really improve things… or even better, lets stay home & watch movies again on election day!

    • November 27, 2011 7:18 pm

      I sincerely hope that you realize that options in Pakistan has far greater options than Zardari alone. If you would like to pretend that he’s the only option besides IK you’re most welcome, but I do hope that you realize how intellectually dishonest your argument is.

      • November 27, 2011 8:13 pm

        Haha kalakawa clearly doesnt understand whar mr. Javed is trying to say. The point is why not Imran Khan when all the others are proven choors and luteray and IK with the history of Honesty in SKMH, Al Namal Univ., and Cricket? What are the far greater options than Zardari? MQM? ANP? MMA? PML-N? PML-Q?

    • unleashed_me permalink
      November 27, 2011 7:56 pm

      or we can vote for the ameer-ul-momineen himself! he’s anti-military too! of course it doesn’t matter that he shares the most despicable thing about the military: love and respect for lashkar jhangvi!

  5. November 27, 2011 7:35 pm

    If it had to be the same constituency politicians to form the parliament again in the next election, id rather that they were under PTI’s central executive committee. THAT is how my mind works when I look at my options to vote. And i guess the more “intellectual” one tries to look, the easier it becomes to miss the simple obvious things.

  6. November 27, 2011 7:41 pm

    And before you go out, join PTI, apply for the ticket so that you can run for election in your constituency, get rejected for a corrupt turncoat on ISI’s payroll, please save the sorry assault of not having a good candidate from your area!

  7. Waseem permalink
    November 27, 2011 7:43 pm

    Do you really think people like Asif Zardari, Gilani & Nawaz Sharif can end military hegemony over us? How many more times you want to give chance to these goons.
    When he had no heavy weight is his party everyone used to say IK can win even couple of seats, now people are coming to him everyone thinks its because of mil agencies. Name me a any party leadership which is not product of military. So lets give chance to the lesser evil. Imran Khan is not corrupt, he is honest and he has never disappointed us. Civilian supremacy over military in one day isn’t possible, it will takes decades. You are just asking too much.

  8. unleashed_me permalink
    November 27, 2011 7:44 pm

    2 things:

    1. you’re seriously delusional if you think it is a good idea for an upcoming politician to campaign on an anti-military agenda.

    2. it’s the job of politicians to spout these rhetorical/nonsensical terms like hope, change, etc. what is he supposed to say? no hope, no change?

    you should just accept that he’s a regular politician. empty promises, hollow agenda, corrupt team etc. that’s how politicians are in this part of the world. live with it.

  9. November 27, 2011 8:58 pm

    BTW Justice(r) Wajiuddin’s name is being thrown around as the head of the parliamentary board who will be handing out PTI’s party tickets for the general election. Thats probably going to be the best board among all parties, (or atleast id like to think that until i come across some glaring changes in the way the other parties are being run) and I dont mind putting my faith in it.

    PTI’s slogans of hope and change are for the most part electioneering and sound bites for naive, desperate dreamers. However, to think that the pml-n (the party that your hopes may lay in for tilting the civil military balance in formers favor) is going to rein in the deep state is the other naivety coming out of a separate desperation. Your hatred for the role of military in Pakistans demise is probably justified, but dont let that cloud your judgement and brand everyone but the sharif as a puppet of the establishment. And Sharifs personal vandetta against the generals has been good for democracy but in my opinion it ends there, for his government would enhance the possibility of a military takeover. Bad governance and corruption are problems that are going to persist for a while (more so under pml-n’s cec than in PTI’s i am inclined to think) and with pml-n, given their autocratic way of running things, that combines with a disconnect with the people to create opportunities for undemocratic measures to be acceptable to the people at large. A weak but still valid case in point the 1999 coup, albeit 2/3rd majority. Nothing is certain and its all about probabilities. And even if all my assessment and calculation of the probabilities is flawed, id still like to see the PTI thrive, for im sick of the two mainstream parties (heirdoms?) monopolizing the political landscape of Pakistan.

  10. November 27, 2011 9:25 pm

    I think all the arguments regarding Imran Khan stem from people holding him to a higher standard in comparison to other political leaders.

    His policy explanations are utopian. His ideology is naive and at times even ignorant. He has no idea about the system that awaits him should he be able to wedge himself into power.

    He has the latent or active support of the established order, both civilian and military. he continues to cartwheel on fundamental slogans, such as the latest one about a change in the status quo which was lowered into an early grave by the inclusion of a 750 year old family throne that claims territory in both the spiritual and the physical worlds.

    But if you hold him to the same standard of approval or comparision that allows for Nawaz Sharif to aspire to become the Amir ul Momineen, the Peoples party that is transfixed with graves and grave culture after mouthing a liberal agenda that they buried with their reaction to Salman Taseer’s death, Altaf Hussain and his problems with differentiating his moderate middle classed party men from an organized mafia, where do you think he stands?

    Hope and Change in the Obama way comes to societies that function internally like the American society does. In a state where religion is a favoured tool of oppression, women are a traded commodity and corruption is the fabric of society, isnt change realistically limited to an ideologically conflicted man of questionable moral values promising to make the president house into a university?

  11. Anonymous permalink
    November 28, 2011 5:16 am

    Ha ha ha ! Good one

  12. Faisal Ch permalink
    November 28, 2011 7:42 am

    Pathetic choice of words, (using phrases like ‘YOUR ASS’, F*@#$ etc) wouldn’t make you a super columnist, Criticism well come but be wise and careful while choosing your words.

    You have just cuffed out your hate for IK and PTI, I am fine with that you have your own opinion but criticism should be constructive and decent to some extent.

    on SMQ and other leaders joining PTI, I appreciate that because people should do politics on basis of priniciples not on just party/baradari sake, If you don’t find your current perty’s opinion aligned with the interest of your nation you have every right to join the one you think suits the nation and whilst doing that changing parties is good and positive rather than sticking to the old shit.

  13. Huma permalink
    November 28, 2011 8:08 am

    im not an Imran Khan fan, but you’re waaaayyyyy too cynical even for me. although im also not a fundo, i do believe that if we pray hard enough, (if we cant do anything else) HE will help us. so calm down and accept the reality that is Pakistan today. Its not good, none of us like it, but we’ve got to work with whatever we have.

  14. Huma permalink
    November 28, 2011 8:10 am

    And i hope and pray that Allah helps Pakistan, and brings forward ppl who we can work with to straighten out this mess. whoever it is, Imran Khan or not.

    • Murtaza permalink
      December 1, 2011 10:22 pm

      I am sorry but you have to grow out of ‘Allah helps Pakistan’. Praying to Allah won’t change a damn thing. It never has!

      IF your Allah ever listens to you, please tell the millions of women who are raped and the millions of children who die of malnutrition to pray to that Allah too. The omniscient and omnipotent Allah is a creation of your mind.

      Look at how well the the Scandinavian countries are doing. They don’t have Allah helping them achieve economic growth and social harmony. They have good, hardworking people!

      Coming back to the post, I have similar views on IK. However, his growing support has a good side to it as well. That is, he’s putting pressure on big parties to stop slacking and getting down to do some real work.

      The “change” IK talks about has already come according to him. If this change is a change of names and parties, as much change IK brings, the miseries of the working class, the talibanization of the society at large, the intolerance amongst the different sects and religions, the suppression of women, the poverty of masses will remain unchanged.

  15. November 28, 2011 2:05 pm

    Finally a sane voice that majority of PTI supporters either choose to ignore or are dumb enough to defend with their idealistic notions that Imran Khan will save Pakistan. The ‘lesser of all evils’ argument is taking his supporters to the voting booths soon, who have little to no understanding of the lotas in his party because, lo and behold, it’s still a one-man show in their minds – Imran Khan, the best man in Pakistan. I personally don’t buy this. Great piece.

  16. November 28, 2011 5:16 pm

    Oh dear. Too be fair, not everything is a load of s***.

    Also, Sherry is Rather Cool.

  17. James permalink
    November 28, 2011 6:46 pm

    “The same Ghaznavi who attacked India numerous times to, uh, rid them of idolatry….” The man didn’t only invade India, he also invaded what today is Pakistan and what today is eastern Afghanistan…during the time of his invasion, even Kabul was under ‘Shahi kings’.

  18. Sri permalink
    November 28, 2011 7:20 pm

    There are two things in my view that one would consider before declaring any politician worthy of support in Pakistan.

    1. would the military let the civilians rule autonomously ? 2. since the the answer to that is no, then who would you better have ?

    it is a given that IK is supported very well by the ISI/ Pak mil and hence accusing him or his followers of being stupid / naieve is just pointless . When the mil controls so much of the admin , it is un fair on politicos to have any independent ideas, I am not accusing IK of being a smart man. Hell, no. The guy is dumb as bricks and unfortunately in the world that we live in , good looks even out dumb brains…and since IK brough the country some glory there is the additional love.

    The current govt is toothless as it is and the most unfortunate one to face one shitstorm after the other. Things might be a bit interesting if Nawaz comes to power cos he has declared his hatred for the military….and he has personal reasons too..

  19. Ahmad permalink
    November 29, 2011 10:25 am

    Think you are over reacting. It will be quite natural for them to induct people with past affiliation however it should be a matter of concern if these people have been accused/convicted of major charges which does not seem to be the case. I can assure you if PTI is still around for next 5-10 yrs you will see entirely fresh set of politicians. The logic is simple even if they induct 200 past politician stIll the ratio of old to new (having no past experience of electoral process) will be like 25/75 as compared to 90/10 for established parties. In addition you will find these newly politicised youth who have joined the party rising up the ranks.
    But thats besides the point as these new people can be equally inept/corrupt (the best example I can quote is rise of BSP under Mayavati in India while empowering dalits is running one of the most corruption friendly regimes) the prime agenda the khan is peddling is good governance, transperancy in governance & delinking judiciary & investigation authority from executive. Couple that with electoral reforms (indep elction body, barring convicted from elections, limiting use of black money in elections) you have perfect recipe for change..The rest change & hope slogan is basically marketing..

    I also think in present context the involvement of military in domestic politics is grossly overestimated. Although it would be unfair to say that its a toothless tiger now but they have kept themselves away. I can not imagine this kind of public critisicm of military in India (off course they deserve it based on their past sins). On the civil-military relations Khan has spoken about them only playing their constitutional role & placing military budget under parliament control. I find little difference between this position & the one for which Nawaz is praised. If I were to choose I would go in for Khan as Nawaz in his previous regimes has never tried for systemic changes rather changing army chiefs on whim & ego clashes. Btw there are lots of top leaders in PML(N) too having close links withe military establishment..

    To end it is your democratic right to oppose Khan as much as others to support him, but be thankful that you have someone who is talking about these issues & forcing the 2 biggies to keep pace. The issues like benami assets, investigation authorities that are partial to sitting govt, unfittered use of money in elections, health & quality education for masses (I would slightly disagree that education is the most important factor for woman empowerment see Kerala our most literate state having lowest fertility rates & highest scores on human indices) are as relevant in India but we have to rely on a non political movements to press our points.

  20. AHK permalink
    November 29, 2011 4:50 pm

    Yes all of us are tired of Imran Khan’s bullshit – he is the only politician bullshitting us & it should be our biggest worry if he comes to power. its time to give the sincere & honest Sharif’s another chance.

  21. November 30, 2011 2:42 am

    Shafqat Mehmood is mentioned here who found a lot to criticize Imran Khan about in 2009 (via Omar Warraich):

    Imran Khan hasn’t changed. I wonder how Sahfqat Mehmood would describe this change of heart.

  22. Sac permalink
    December 2, 2011 5:52 am

    To anyone who thinks ‘Immy K’ represents an “educated” (whatever the fuck that means), ‘liberal mindset’ or those who think the establishment has nothing to do with his prolific rise:

    @KalaKawa – Seriously disappointed you fell for this crap even for a second. haha…

  23. December 3, 2011 1:34 pm

    I cant argue with you on PTI keeping everybody and anybody in his party but dont you think we are all too quick to judge IK..i mean why not wait till he actually gives out the party tickets..i mean i can sit here and argue with you on each point that u mention in the article but i just don’t get the cynicism…

  24. Kashif Ansari permalink
    October 4, 2015 1:15 pm

    imran khan is just plain dumb. he thinks wrongly that everything will CHANGE in a matter of seconds once he comes to rule the country with an iron fist. what this asshole doesn’t know is that things hardly change more than an inch at a time and wholesale change is always a sign of neurosis or worse bloody revolution. all revolutions have devoured their own children. this cricketer thinks that the country is run like a team on the field whereas it requires a lot of tact and wisdom. he is a hothead and reminds me of hitler and his putsch through which he came in power in germany. mark my word. he will be the undoing of our country. nawaz shareef is a hundred times better than this stupid pathan who is so khardamagh that he cannot tell a microphone from a cricket bat.


  1. Imran Khan and Change | pakistaniwhispers

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