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Talat Hussain, You Genius You

October 25, 2010

This blog is quickly changing into an extended rant. However, when the Islamic Republic throws up cretin after cretin and provides them with substantial media space to air their views one can’t help but rant.

Talat Hussain, lovingly known as Flotzilla in some circles due to his ‘heroics’ on the Gaza Peace Flotilla, has recently penned a column in the Urdu Daily ‘Express’. The subject of this column was Angelina Jolie’s recent report to the United Nations where she calls out the Pakistani government for spending excesses at a time when Pakistan is suffering from the worst natural disaster in her history.

You’d think that Talat Hussain would be all for the statement, and he is. After all, any statement that is critical of the government (and in this case rightly so) is like manna from heaven for our Media-vallas. The route he takes to makes his point is very, very strange though. Equal parts judgmental, misogynistic, homophobic, and shallow, it is nearly impossible to understand Talat’s motivation behind constructing his argument in this way.

Let’s translate this piece into what he was really thinking for fun though:

Talat Says:

“The famous Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie has had what one would call a very colourful life. The 36 year old actress has been through many episodes that many of her admirers (of which I am not one) constantly speak of, and others constantly think of.”

Translation: Angelina Jolie is a dirty gutter slut. She has been slutting it up for a long time. I do not find her attractive therefore I am entirely objective. However, her fans are filthy masturbators. Heh.

Talat Says:

“At a young age Angelina Jolie’s parents got divorced and she had to go live with her mother outside the family circle. Mohtarma always hated tradition and would therefore often run away to live the life she wanted. Eventually, tiring of her myriad broken relationships she began working on stage. (It is important to note that in the United States, stage acting and prostitution are different professions.)

Translation: Now that Angelina moved into a single parent home, and that single parent happened to be a woman, she was bound to turn into a filthy whore. She fucked anything she saw moving and a sexually liberated woman naturally leaves a trail of messed up relationships. She finally found an outlet in theatre where she was able to channel her whorish ways in a more productive direction. But, Children of Pakistan™ you should not go into the theatre because here it’s just filled with prostitutes and pimps. It’s a very sad state of affairs. Let’s ban the theatre for immorality!

Talat Says:

“Since Angelina was really not pretty at all she was unable to make much of a name for herself as an actor. If one were to see a picture of Angelina Jolie at this phase of her life one would not even look at it twice. Sunken cheeks, ugly nose, huge wild eyes, lips like a jar without a lid, no glow on her face, and no hints of youth in her body.”

Translation: I will take this occasion to perv on a young Angelina Jolie while pretending that I am actually calling her out for poor lifestyle choices. I also believe it is entirely appropriate to pass judgment on someone’s appearance, awkward teenage years or not. Also, I am fucking hot. Seen my hair lately? HOT.

Talat Says:

“Angelina’s personal life is filled with actions that contradict the basis for morality in all societies. It is well know that she is willing to exceed any limits to get what she wants.”

Translation: When I say morality in all societies, I actually mean my own personal world view. Also, TEAM ANISTON!

Talat Says: “It is known among her closest confidantes that if there were no life sentence associated with murder, Angelina would gladly kill any man or woman who stands in her way, because mercy is not one of her qualities.”

Translation: Approaching the middle of the column, people are now skimming instead of reading, let’s just start making shit up.

Talat Says:

“Besides being involved with men to further her career, Angelina Jolie also enjoys loving women (Yes, it’s exactly what you’re thinking.)”

Translation: What is this sensation in my pants? Down. DOWN! Fuck. Now I have to go wuzu.

Talat Says:

“According to a recent news report Angelina Jolie considers herself an expert in Sapphic love and considers it among her best life experiences. According to her, only a woman can know another woman’s sensitivities. A man, no matter how hard he tries, cant never reach the level a woman can.”

Translation: LOLZ! Look at this dumb bitch. She thinks a man can’t do what a woman can? She clearly hasn’t met the great Talat Hussain. Not that I do, um, those things.

Talat Says:

“To remove attention from her dark episodes, Angelina Jolie has adopted multi-coloured children to mould herself into the paragon of mercy and maternal instincts.”

Translation: Using the term ‘rang barangay’ for people is not racist at all.

Talat Says:

“Angelina has such tremendous PR that the United Nations appointed her as a Goodwill Ambassador. What special education she has to receive this post is unknown to me. Her life story does not show any experience with international affairs.”

Translation: Even though the UNHCR Goodwill Ambassador position is one given to celebrities so they can use their talent and fame to advocate for refugees I just can’t help myself from casting aspersions on this woman. I would really like this gig though. I have enough morality to save the entire world. Who called me a douche?

Talat Says:

“This woman does not pass any tests of Eastern values. Take a look at Article 62 and 63 of the Pakistani constitution. We put great value on good behaviour, following Islamic traditions, refraining from grave sins, etc. People like Angelina Jolie, whether they be Muslim or Non-Muslim, should be given no honour at all. If Angelina Jolie had spoken of her deeds as a Pakistani she would have been stoned to death infinite times.”

Translation: I’m about to apply the Pakistani constitution that I follow in letter and spirit on this woman. I have decided that she cannot possibly pass these tests because she is an ambitious, sexual woman who has adopted multiple children. She needs to die. The end.

Talat Says:

“However, even this woman seeped in Western values is cultured enough to point out the excesses of the Pakistani government in her report to the United Nations. She pointed out the lavish feast prepared for her at the Prime Minister’s and his family flew in on their private jet to meet her and present her with gifts. How is it possible that this actress seems worth honouring more than her Pakistani hosts? Who knows if her hosts learned a thing or two from her?”

Translation: I can’t even see straight right now as I approach my government bashing climax. Do you not see government? DO YOU NOT SEE? Even this horrid woman has the ability to tell right from wrong! Even she can construct a rational argument pointing out your inefficacies! HAHAHAHAH. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. You idiots. Even a woman showed you.

Signing off, all I have to say is this: Talat Hussain is a moron.

85 Comments leave one →
  1. October 25, 2010 10:52 am

    Great job KK!!!

  2. October 25, 2010 11:06 am

    lol. Great post.

    He’s undoubtedly been watching E! True Hollywood Story for his research on what is an obnoxious, arrogant and crapridden article.

    Talat Hussain should go fuck himself.

    Points for anyone who guesses whose picture he’ll have in front of him.

    • Ahsan permalink
      February 17, 2012 12:58 pm

      very brave comment, don’t take this the wrong way, I loved that ! and yeah i thought the same thing but I then i realized that meant for him pleasuring himself and I don’t want him having a good time after throwing mud at a person who spent time with miss-fortunate people gave them hope that they might not be alone in this world , and also filed a report to the UN that our government was not doing their part. the thing is he got offended because he mistakenly thought she was stealing the limelight from him, poor talat shouldn’t feel bad she’s a international movie star.

  3. October 25, 2010 11:10 am

    The blog is indeed changing into a rant.

  4. babloo permalink
    October 25, 2010 11:27 am

    WOW !!!😀

  5. Hyder permalink
    October 25, 2010 11:56 am

    Brilliant!

  6. October 25, 2010 11:58 am

    considering that talat hussain is possibly the least insane anchor out there, the continued popularity of pakistani talk shows seems to be an indictment on the rest of the country too…

    as you make clear, pot shots at angelina lets us cultivate our exoticised fascination with her, but the resulting sexual arousal is then doused with heaps of venom and vitriol – leading us to believe that we have been absolved of our sins, and that no one realised that we were just wanking off on Gia.

  7. October 25, 2010 12:05 pm

    I think its sour grapes considering he was so sure they were going to cast him for Salt when Cruise said no. ” I did my own stunts on the flotilla”!!

  8. October 25, 2010 12:20 pm

    Hilarious.

    Poor TH — once a fairly serious anchor — has now become the chief of the attack brigade.
    La hol vila quvvat.

  9. waqas permalink
    October 25, 2010 12:45 pm

    this article is an exact translation of my sentiments…not on angelina bless her for what she did for the flood victims but for talat flotilla hussain and his horrendous article!!! i took the liberty of reading the article thinking somewhere i would read the references of the report or maybe some of the report in actuality…this is totally screwed up and we call him a senior anchor/newsperson/ journalist. he has lost total respect from my side

  10. hamster41 permalink
    October 25, 2010 12:56 pm

    Who is Angelina?

  11. Faria permalink
    October 25, 2010 1:08 pm

    🙂

  12. Es kay permalink
    October 25, 2010 1:17 pm

    After reading this Zardari ur a saint god bless u

  13. Anon_for_good_reason permalink
    October 25, 2010 1:17 pm

    Talat Hussein surely feels threatened by a women with her radically liberal lifestyle that go hand-in- hand with Angie’s self-less altruism.Its clear that we dont need a religion or some shackles for a good conscience.I’m sure his vitriol is sort of his defence mechanism to hide himself from this fact.I also sometimes feel threatened by women,so I convert that jealousy&awe into admiration.Its the only solution. The guy is a sorry simpleton.God save his audience.

  14. October 25, 2010 2:12 pm

    hahaha……..man this is amazing……
    Translations are just so damn funny…Talat Hussain is definitely a moron !

  15. October 25, 2010 2:25 pm

    Hahahaha.
    This rant was hilarious.
    and Talat Hussain is a douche.Period.

  16. indigenous permalink
    October 25, 2010 2:29 pm

    good post.
    Zahida Hinna had a very good piece on Angelina Jolie in Express.
    http://www.pkurducols.com/2010/09/column-on-angelina-jolie-by-zahida-hina.html

  17. luckyfatima permalink
    October 25, 2010 2:33 pm

    LOL this is just too funny. You have inspired me to do my Urdu reading practice today on the original chooghli woogli article instead of boring BBC Urdu! hehehehehe team aniston!

  18. Sindhyar permalink
    October 25, 2010 2:39 pm

    Translation had been hyperbolic explanations of what was in Talat’s mind – till last para actually sounded like translation

    Frankly, Pakistani Electronic media has been continuously disappointing – but this takes the cake – among the great feats such as Hamid Mir’s inciting calls, Amir liaquat’s calls for sectarian blood, Shahid Masood’s post chasing, Kashif Abbasi’s million earnings, Ansar Abbasi’s journalist/politician bullying and so on

  19. October 25, 2010 5:51 pm

    Talat Hussain is a moron and you are a MFSOB. Now delete this comment.

  20. October 25, 2010 6:41 pm

    really funny…er…rant🙂

    glad you and Cafe Pyala blogged about this or I might never have come across this bit of news, seeing as i’m too entrenched in the blogosphere to read the idiotic newspapers😛

  21. October 25, 2010 6:51 pm

    LMAO.
    our sentiments translated perfectly

  22. Wasif Malik permalink
    October 25, 2010 7:01 pm

    “Translation: Approaching the middle of the column, people are now skimming instead of reading, let’s just start making shit up.”

    ^^This really made me laugh out loud.

  23. October 25, 2010 9:14 pm

    Hehehe . . . I love you KK. I wish STH reads it. I really wish so. :)))

  24. October 25, 2010 10:54 pm

    WTF! IF some body like to express his feelings abt JOLEE.i don’t think a ground stone like KK can comment abt STH! If you spit in the sky, it will come on your face .I hope KK and Cpyala will understand this message.

    • October 26, 2010 4:50 am

      you need to get some of that spit out of your eye.

    • Kalim permalink
      February 5, 2011 6:35 pm

      Well said.. These PPP guys are frothing and ranting like mad dogs only because he dared compare Angie to this government and clearly exposed this GREAT government

      Well done Talat

  25. Black permalink
    October 26, 2010 2:51 am

    @ KK not-ending round of applause!

    @ people appreciating STH on this forum should read his piece of sh*t twice (though i believe once shall be enough) to see who’s spitting or may be drooling….

    @ Mehmal, I agree but apart from being MCP he has proved to be a racist as well as undemocratic Ass**** who has no ‘values’ to respect ‘Human Rights’. Bloody character-assassin… and you were right even these few word could not express my right emotions I badly need ‘Punjabi expletives’ aid *please*

  26. Abdullah Wiqar permalink
    October 26, 2010 4:41 am

    hahahahahahaha too good!

  27. October 26, 2010 6:23 am

    Brilliant piece! What is WRONG with Talat Hussain? =\

  28. Khadija permalink
    October 26, 2010 6:30 am

    I had to stop myself from laughing out loud! Your take on Talat’s article was hilarious. Also I had no idea he was a misogynist.

  29. Khurram Mansoor permalink
    October 26, 2010 6:36 am

    Well it was very strange, to read some of the comments by the writer,

    The needs to rectified. You cannot just hate some one and then try to prove your point.

    The things that you translated from your English to English are no more then just predictions and perceptions of your own mind.

    And no doubt our rulers are worst then their S*&^S.

  30. Amna K permalink
    October 26, 2010 6:40 am

    haha!😀

  31. jman permalink
    October 26, 2010 7:48 am

    This piece has made Talat a tokhu in my eyes. And Angelina with all her “moral wrongs” still looks better in a shalwar qameez then anyone else!

    Maybe Talat can now refasten his naara!

  32. noureen permalink
    October 26, 2010 7:49 am

    brilliant post man..

    • asif permalink
      October 26, 2010 8:30 am

      whats so brilliant abt it dear ??

      thats what a 3rd grade, jugatbaaz can do on the stage…

      • October 26, 2010 8:36 am

        Phir to aap meray se buhat behtar kar sakein. Nahin?

  33. asif permalink
    October 26, 2010 8:28 am

    I think Mr T. H, has gone out of his mind, has pointed out so many things which are very personal to any person, instead of doing so he must have pointed out the positive side of A.J, I think that he must have forgetten that we all are humans, and we all make mistakes, but the best person is the one who learn from the mistakes done…

    So Mr T.H, the pious, no mistakes in the past, or none in the future ???

  34. October 26, 2010 9:07 am

    Excellent post!

    Thanks for writing this.

  35. October 26, 2010 11:52 am

    Love the rant!

  36. October 26, 2010 12:37 pm

    WTF is wrong with Talat Hussain ?????

    I was watching this video last night and today I am reading this article. What a paradox in the life !

  37. October 26, 2010 12:40 pm

    @KK, thanks for the translation (I don’t Urdu to read original article) and icing on the cake comes with your commentary. Morals make us immoral and TH is very moralistic and pious man…

  38. October 26, 2010 1:30 pm

    Your ‘translations’ of Talat’s article are spot on. His article really is the height of misogynistic, self-satisfied holier-than-thou bull****! And I usually never swear, it just made me so furious. I’m glad you gave him his comeuppance and can only hope that this blog post is disseminated far and wide.

  39. Asad permalink
    October 26, 2010 5:32 pm

    Very well written. The closet molvis show their true colors once in a while. Ansar Abbasi started it, and Talat followed. I’m just glad these bigots are seen for what they really are.

  40. October 26, 2010 7:52 pm

    k:

    i have never read talat in urdu before. me bad:)

    question: can he write in urdu

    corollary: if not, was it translated?

    ps: if this was a one off column, he should be cut some slack

    • October 26, 2010 8:40 pm

      He can write in Urdu, and I translated parts of his article for this post. Mind you, it probably isn’t the greatest translation ever but I don’t think it’s inaccurate. He has a regular column in the Daily Express though.

      • October 26, 2010 9:09 pm

        k:

        thanks

        was not questioning your translation:)

      • October 26, 2010 10:37 pm

        Haha. I actually got that right after I’d published my reply.

  41. October 27, 2010 5:02 am

    Haha, great post. Nail Hit on Head!

  42. October 27, 2010 5:04 am

    what the fuck?? i thought he was one of those not insane(i didnt say sane) journalists…

    i didnt read the column but after reading this, i can say that either he is really really jealous of Angelina Jolie or he just wrote that to enter the league of frustrated motherfuckers!

  43. October 27, 2010 12:29 pm

    AJ is a stone cold beeaatch, no doubt abt it. TH isn’t that wrong in this article once you think about it.

  44. October 27, 2010 9:57 pm

    At another blog by a brainwashed Pakistani I have left the following comment (in fact, I am here because of a link at that blog):

    I seem to have ended up here more by accident than design. I am saddened to read this piteous piece of writing by a Pakistani blogger whose mind has been conditioned through long exposure to an alien culture and its language. The curse of celebrity worship is destroying western societies through a general process of dumbing down, and trivialisation of values which are essential for maintaining stable societies.

    Talat Hussain has simply held up a mirror to the brainwashed Pakistanis – a veritable army of yes-men and women to whatever becomes fashionable in the West – in which they have seen their hideously distorted features and have recoiled in horror. Talat is quite right: so many members of our westernised elite today rank , in moral terms, lower than the Hollywood actress who visited Pakistan recently.

    Thank God for Talat Hussain who has found a way to live successfully in the weird Pakistani society without sacrificing his language and his culture.

    • October 28, 2010 3:54 am

      another NOT brainwashed Pakistani…FML!

      the point is not what AJ is or what she was!?! she can be the biggest whore or slut or whatever u want to call her, its none of our business!!!but she came to Pakistan as a “UN ambassador” to HELP/raise awareness. and she donated Rs.8.5 million compared to Zardari (the not brainwashed patriotic Pakistani) rs. 5 million! At least appreciate her efforts or if he is really frustrated then the least he can do is not to write such a derogatory column disrespecting a UN ambassador. TH is disgrace to journalism!

      • October 30, 2010 9:47 am

        TJ:

        Do you realise what you are saying? Just goes to show the extent to which the Pakistanis have been brainwashed by the country’s bastardised educational system – which replaces independent thinking by a servile acceptance of high sounding meaningless drivel uttered by arrogant Americans and other English speakers. The Americans and the British tend to hold the average English-speaking Pakistani in contempt because this sorry specimen of humanity is expected always to fall in line with the western view of things. What makes such obsequious Pakistanis so useful to the West is their utter failure to feel any sense of national pride or to comprehend what is good for their country as a whole.

        You tell me that a country ravaged by floods – some 20 million people affected – needs to have its “awareness raised” by a visiting “UN ambassador”! The UN is a hypocritical organisation, a convenient tool in the hands of world powers to influence other countries. I suggest you do a little research and read the damning articles about the UN published outside the narrow, suffocating world inhabited by westernised Pakistanis.

        The “UN ambassador” was invited to Pakistan by the fawning Pakistani government, not by Talat Hussain. As an independent journalist he is not bound by government policies and he is free to write about any subject he chooses to write on. You should know that when China’s leaders, or the Pope, tour abroad as official guests, large scale demonstrations take place to protest against their policies or their past misdeeds. Do Pakistanis inhabit a different planet?

        The spirit of independence that Talat Hussain has shown needs to be applauded. It is such a shame that Pakistan’s brainwashed English-speakers, who derive their values from the trashy ideas circulating in the West at the moment, have leapt on him as a pack of hounds.

      • November 6, 2010 6:14 am

        first of all..just to let you know how poor and pathetic your judgement and analysing skills are, i have not been brainwashed by the country’s bastardised education system since i have never studied in that system nor in that country.

        secondly, before you go on to blame the west(or the zionists..as you and people like you usually do) for “my servile acceptance of high sounding meaningless drivel uttered by arrogant Americans and other English speakers”, i have lived and was educated in one of the most conservative countries on the face of this earth. so relax, its not he brainwashing or the educational system otherwise i would be defending TH like you!

        third, since you are not a victim of the bastardised education system of my country, i m not sure why you were not able to comprehend a simple statement about raising awareness. Ofcourse she didnt go to Pakistan to raise awareness for pakistanis, she went there to raise awareness for the rest of the world. even a 12 yo can understand what i meant!

        i didnt know that TH or anyone in Pakistan protested against her coming to Pakistan. If TH is such a peer-saab he should have written a column and protested why such a lesbian whore is in the ‘land of pure’ when she actually was there.

        TH’s column just goes on to show his misogyny, hypocrisy and miserable thoughts.

        As your-not-brainwashed-nationalist-full-of-patriotism-extremely-genius brain cant understand a simple point and rather goes on to rant about my patriotism, nationalism, brains working and bashing UN, its not worth my time to persuade you that this article is as ridiculous as it can possibly be.

  45. Ehsanullah Shah permalink
    October 28, 2010 12:02 am

    Nice man! Kudos!

    • Ayesha permalink
      October 31, 2010 11:59 am

      @sakib Ahmad..Way to go..Excellent piece of writing.Logical as well as thought provoking.Its pathetic to see a whole bunch of loosers praising this piece of trash written by kala kutta..Perhaps he needs to learn a thing or two from you as how to write sensible stuff that caters to intellectuals as well.
      Honestly, these a** lickin, westernized nincompoops are the scum of Pakistan who ought to nuked.

      • November 6, 2010 5:56 am

        nuked?!?!?!?!

        i feel your love!

  46. readinglord permalink
    October 28, 2010 1:38 am

    Disgusting! May be a Jews’ conspiracy against TH for his Flotilla stunt!

  47. sohail permalink
    October 28, 2010 8:40 am

    i dont like talat hussain and i dont like Julie either (for her films not for her DEEDS) thank u talat for your column, we might not be able to know how much moron and racist you are…..so this is what we call “Freedom of Expressions” by a senior anchor/journalist who have lost all his respect.

  48. Ugly Shoelace permalink
    October 28, 2010 8:56 am

    TH is such a douche for writing that column:/.

  49. Ahsan Masood permalink
    October 28, 2010 9:24 am

    i laughed so hard that i wet myself…
    talat sucks
    your rock
    and angelina jolie was amazing in gia….

  50. Kamran permalink
    October 28, 2010 10:41 am

    Watch these for another point of view on Angelina Jolie. Not that i am defending Hussain for what he did but still one should explore some related stuff to the story:

    For those of you who cant digest this , take this as a science fiction movie and I promise it would be thrilling. Dont miss to check out Brittany Murphys bio on the web after viewing the second video

  51. Umer permalink
    October 28, 2010 9:52 pm

    Read a couple of responses to the Article Syed Talat Hussain wrote in Express by KalaKawa and XYZ. Hilarious!! The funniest was KK’s own advice to the young Pakistani’s on going to theatre!

    It clarifies the fact that KK has some close relations working in theatre widely known as Pros…..s. And by this I mean not to say all of them. Maybe the relations of the writers of these blogs are good and proper Artists who go to theatre to perform (Mujra Shujra) only and come straight home but we always form an opinion on majority. No doubt theatre is immoral. Exceptions are already mentioned above.

    After I appreciate the efforts put in by these insecure, identity-hiders, my question is; who are you? I mean WHO? You scared mama’s boy! Thought your propaganda would work? And that your veiled personal attack to defame a sane media figure, who has done so much in his capacity for the wretched lives of people of this country, could go unnoticed? Heard of “It’s not what you say but how you say it”?

    Example for better understanding

    TALAT: “The famous Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie has had what one would call a very colourful life. The 36 year old actress has been through many episodes that many of her admirers (of which I am not one) constantly speak of, and others constantly think of.”

    Your Translation: Angelina Jolie is a dirty gutter slut. She has been slutting it up for a long time. I do not find her attractive therefore I am entirely objective. However, her fans are filthy masturbators. Heh.

    My Translation: Angelina Jolie had many Extra-Marital Affairs. Her admirer / brother (Kalakawa) like her, wished he had a different relation and talk to his other friends about how she is hot …

    Feel the difference son? (No you are not my Son, be Kalakawa and don’t write KalaUmer)

    Below are a few eye-openers for the blind followers – Before we discuss let’s get the facts straight

    Who does Angelina belong to? Hollywood or Pakistan? You know the answer! Hence we should also consider what people of west with real names and not some XYZ or Kalakawa think of her. Right?

    Lets discuss it B**ch!!

    What’s the argument?

    TALAT talked about her past life?

    Answer: Where did he lie?

    Commented on Angelina Jolie’s appearance?

    A lonely, detached figure who did not want to live with his family (Angelina always feared she would be like that herself). Maybe it was the relative poverty, or the taunting, or the way she felt that -with her big eyes, big lips, big everything – she looked like a muppet. But Angelina had come to hate herself, to feel absolutely worthless. She felt unworthy, didn’t like to be touched (she still has this problem sometimes). So, like too many young girls, she started to cut herself. At 14, she dropped out of acting classes and began an existence of fast-living and active self-loathing. She wore black, dyed her hair purple and went out slam-dancing with her live-in punk boyfriend. They experimented heavily in S&M, Angelina once asking him to draw a blade along her jaw-line (the scar is now faint, but still there).

    “Dominic Wills”

    Argument: You named yourself as Kalakawa so it should not be offensive if I call you that, right? When Dominic Wills could describe her as he did why couldn’t Talat?

    Her actions contradict the social moralities?

    Answer: Kathleen Tracy’s biography of Angelina Jolie:

    As the back of Tracy’s book promises, Jolie has a fascination with knives and sadomasochism, had affairs with members of both genders, and for all practical purposes made out with her brother at the 2000 Oscars

    Question? Do you think your sister would make out with you and it won’t contradict with social moralities?

    TALAT: besides being involved with men to further her career, Angelina Jolie also enjoys loving women?

    Supporting Statements by Angelina:

    • Jane magazine readers voted Angelina Jolie as the female actor who makes their knees weak. To which Jolie responded, “They’re right to think that about me, because I’m the person most likely to sleep with my female fans. I genuinely love other women. And I think they know that.”
    • About Lara Croft Jolie said, “Can you imagine Lara Croft as a lesbian?…At the end of the day, I really like women. I’d love it if the girls in the cinema watching Lara Croft find me just as hot as their boyfriends do.”
    • In an interview with Elle magazine, Angelina Jolie said, “Honestly, I like everything. Boyish girls, girlish boys, the heavy and the skinny. Which is a problem when I’m walking down the street.”
    • “When I was 20, i fell in love with somebody who happened to be a woman.”
    • “I was open about it (bisexuality) because I wanted people to know that I had been with a woman. i spoke about it because I’d discovered something wonderful and I thought people should know my experience was very real, very normal.”
    • When Barbra Walters asked her if she was bisexual, Jolie responded, “Of course. If I fell in love with a woman tomorrow, would I feel that it’s okay to want to kiss and touch her? If I fell in love with her? Absolutely! Yes!”
    • “I love women and men equally and I see people and love as love, so I think it makes sense that a woman would know I’d appreciate and love her as much as I would a man.”

    Reference: http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/lesbianactors/p/AngelinaJolie.htm

    TALAT: To remove attention from her dark episodes, Angelina Jolie has adopted multi-coloured children to mould herself into the paragon of mercy and maternal instincts.

    Explanation: When their people could say it why couldn’t Talat? Check out comments and reference.

    Joana’s
    Thanks Star. Hope u could get more about this homewrecker. She’s a hypocrit adopting children do 2 clean up her image. Does she really look motherlike? she’s a fake & as an adult continued trashy life
    Lmichelle
    Let’s see she said she was in love with her brother and french kissed him in public; She wore a vial of Billy Bob thortons blood around her neck; She was in love w/lesbian model..and ur shocked?
    Comment:

    Even though it’s her past…it does show the true character of what she’s really like. i don’t believe in the mother theresa saving the world type that she’s portraying. it’s all an illusional. it’s fake

    Comment:
    Once a ho always a ho!!!

    Comment:
    She is the sl*t of all sl*ts!!!
    Reference: http://entertainment.blogs.foxnews.com/2010/07/28/angelina-jolie-star-photos-drugs-nipple-tape/

    XYZ said she was never into substance. Check the links and her own statement “Gawandiyaan deya”

    Angelina has spoken out about her past substance abuse before, once saying, “I hate heroin because I’ve been fascinated with it. I’m not immune, but I won’t do it now, at all.”

    According to The National Enquirer, a man (who remains nameless) had a video of Angelina Jolie snorting lines of cocaine and doing heroin. The video was taken in the 90′s, around the time Angelina did the movie Gia. The source claimed not only does the video capture her clearly doing drugs but she also made a comment like “Wow, this is really good smack–not that cheap crap that’s been stepped on.”

    Reference for the statement: http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2008/05/19/tabloid_publishes_angelina_jolie_drug_vi

    Support to what TALAT wrote she found short-cuts

    Dominic Wills writes:

    She met Jonny Lee Miller. The pair fell for each other big-time and were married, Jolie possibly looking for some kind of stability in her life. Now began her explicit openness in the press, as she told lurid tales of their sexual exploits. “You’re young, you’re drunk, you’re in bed, you have knives; shit happens”, she said jokingly. It was also announced that, when getting married, Jolie had worn black leather pants and a white shirt with Miller’s name scrawled across the back in her own blood (well, who else’s blood would she use?). In interviews, Jolie explained that her interest in blood and death was of long standing. She not only collected knives, she said, but had a fascination with mortuary science and, as a child, had dreamed of becoming a funeral director. Less Maude than Harold, then

    TALAT: Anglina had an effect on her by the broken marriage of her parents?
    Read your sister-like Angelina’s history …

    Now, Pack your bags!!

    • Ayesha permalink
      October 31, 2010 12:07 pm

      TH is absolutely right.period

      Umer..You did a great job supporting your awesome comment with evidence(nothing less than a slap on KK’s ugly face) ..Average Pakistanis needed to know about the whore called Angelina… A Piece of s*** that is held very dear by the equally S****y garbage(brainwashed liberal tabqa).

      • November 3, 2010 10:45 am

        Meanwhile your support of the majority opinion in Pakistan, the one reinforced from generation to generation, must mean that you think purely on your own.

  52. October 28, 2010 10:28 pm

    Brilliant. Having been one i can vouch for the fact that tv hosts are a crock of shit. TV anchoring has become a pointless barking power trip. Woof woof woof . They are ALL so boring and their agendas so shamelessly embarrassingly self evident … even as they woof woof abt the very system ( or lack of) which they are so obviously a mirror image of.

    • Umer permalink
      October 29, 2010 5:19 pm

      Read a couple of responses to the Article Syed Talat Hussain wrote in Express by KalaKawa and XYZ. Hilarious!! The funniest was KK’s own advice to the young Pakistani’s on going to theatre!

      It clarifies the fact that KK has some close relations working in theatre widely known as Pros…..s. And by this I mean not to say all of them. Maybe the relations of the writers of these blogs are good and proper Artists who go to theatre to perform only (Mujra Shujra) and come straight home that’s why he disagrees that theatres are immoral but we always form an opinion on majority. No doubt theatre is immoral. Exceptions are already mentioned above.

      After I appreciate the efforts put in by these insecure, identity-hiders, my question is; who are you? I mean WHO? You scared mama’s boy! Thought your propaganda would work? And that your veiled personal attack to defame a sane media figure, who has done so much in his capacity for the wretched lives of people of this country, could go unnoticed?

      Misleading the already blind followers by not letting the people use their own brain that it was not for Angelina Jolie and was for the Government … in the last 2 lines of the actual “Urdu” article TALAT hoped that our government had learnt a lesson from ANGELINA JOLIE.

      Heard of “It’s not what you say but how you say it”?
      Example for better understanding

      TALAT: “The famous Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie has had what one would call a very colourful life. The 36 year old actress has been through many episodes that many of her admirers (of which I am not one) constantly speak of, and others constantly think of.”

      Your Translation: Angelina Jolie is a dirty gutter slut. She has been slutting it up for a long time. I do not find her attractive therefore I am entirely objective. However, her fans are filthy masturbators. Heh.

      My Translation: Angelina Jolie had many Extra-Marital Affairs. Her admirer / brother (Kalakawa) likes her, wishes he had a different relation and talks to his other friends about how she is hot …

      Feel the difference son? (No you are not my Son, be Kalakawa and don’t write KalaUmer)

      Below are a few eye-openers for the readers – Before we discuss let’s get the facts straight

      Who does Angelina belong to? Hollywood or Pakistan? You know the answer! Hence we should also consider what people of west with real names and not some XYZ or Kalakawa think of her. Right?

      Lets discuss it B**ch!!

      Even when you have intentionally deviated completely from the gist of the writing still,
      What’s the argument?

      TALAT talked about her past life?

      Answer: Where did he lie?

      Commented on Angelina Jolie’s appearance?

      A lonely, detached figure who did not want to live with his family (Angelina always feared she would be like that herself). Maybe it was the relative poverty, or the taunting, or the way she felt that -with her big eyes, big lips, big everything – she looked like a muppet. But Angelina had come to hate herself, to feel absolutely worthless. She felt unworthy, didn’t like to be touched (she still has this problem sometimes). So, like too many young girls, she started to cut herself. At 14, she dropped out of acting classes and began an existence of fast-living and active self-loathing. She wore black, dyed her hair purple and went out slam-dancing with her live-in punk boyfriend. They experimented heavily in S&M, Angelina once asking him to draw a blade along her jaw-line (the scar is now faint, but still there).

      “Dominic Wills”

      Argument: You named yourself as Kalakawa so it should not be offensive if I call you that, right? When Dominic Wills could describe her as he did why couldn’t Talat?

      Her actions contradict the social moralities?

      Answer: Kathleen Tracy’s biography of Angelina Jolie:

      As the back of Tracy’s book promises, Jolie has a fascination with knives and sadomasochism, had affairs with members of both genders, and for all practical purposes made out with her brother at the 2000 Oscars

      Question? Do you think your sister would make out with you and it won’t contradict with social moralities?

      (continued)

  53. Ali Hassan permalink
    October 28, 2010 11:22 pm

    According to Cafe Pyala “Let Us Build Pakistan” first wrote about it: http://criticalppp.com/archives/26823/comment-page-1#comments

    Dil Dil Pakistan says: Talat Hussain is a man of the ISI and according to a blogger member of a Freemason-like secret brotherhood, led by Zaffar Abbas of Dawn. So what can you expect from a dishonest puppet of the agencies.

    Ahmed Iqbalabadi says: Please do not insult the Free Masons! The Free Masons have included visionary people, not touts like the Abbas brothers, Talat Hussain and members of our ghairat brigade!

    Dil Dil Pakistan says: Sir, I totally agree with you. Talat Hussain and Zaffar Abbas and his brothers are really touts of the agencies but hardcore criminals… who can do anything to protect their jobs… just read this blog and you would be surprised: http://nblo.gs/9A3gA

    • November 2, 2010 6:44 am

      omg this is amazing!! just serves to remind us that the call to pakistani patriotism and honor blah blah blah is rooted in misogyny and the desire to control women.

  54. Abdul Moiz Jaferii permalink
    November 7, 2010 1:01 pm

    brilliant.

    now try to explain to the rang barangay masses how your point of view is correct. explain to them how fascism is not part of the religion they profess. explain how America didn’t cause the floods. explain how God cannot be brought into every argument as the perfect defense. explain how you cant cheat this God by reciting his name just before you die and get a no questions asked pass into heaven.

    because you cannot, Talat Hussain is right. he has the great Lord of our flies on his side. the God that television anchors use to convince people to kill Ahmedis, the God that gives your mulla the right to shortcuts to heaven, kalma before dying and all. the God in whose name we give zakat to the mulla, who preaches on friday to a mass of ignorant hypocrites the glory to be found in fighting the rang barangay and having a beard exactly on fist long. the God who these hypocrites pray to every morning before hoarding the sugar, selling sub standard fruit and mixing some milk in their water before selling it.

  55. November 14, 2010 12:24 am

    BEST ARTICLE EVER!

  56. nhakram permalink
    November 22, 2010 3:37 am

    Philistine, right with you there! Pakistan seriously needs an explosion of radfem. Who’s with me?! *lonely air-five* (Or high-fiving a million angels, as Lemon would say🙂

    And maybe Talat Hussain is really insanely jealous of all the attention Angelina Jolie got and was actually thinking “TV show hosts” when he wrote that last para.

    Could he really think the PM needs more ‘food and gifts’?

    Oh and “TEAM ANISTON!” Hilarious =D

  57. November 22, 2010 7:49 pm

    The main point of his column was in last:

    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_VRcvW4yQddQ/TMSekDOJ4-I/AAAAAAAAAIg/XFhJSCtYT_k/s1600/New+Bitmap+Image.bmp

    “She recounts in her UN report that in such dire times the house of the Prime Minister had a lavish feast followed by a private in-flight by the PM’s family. The report is a slap in the face (of Pakistani leadership). For what reason?! This Hollywood actress would be feeling more honored than her Honorable hosts.”

    If anybody thinks it was right, then he must think again!

  58. December 4, 2010 8:43 pm

    In his “Rant” on ARY TV, Syed Talat Hussain also Threatened Elected Pakistan Politicians vis a vis “Pakistan Army’s Leaks” on Pakistani Politicians, let me help you Mr. Talat and let me help Dawn News with their own Investigative Program. http://chagataikhan.blogspot.com/2010/12/lie-with-syed-talat-hussain-on-dawn.html

  59. Natasha permalink
    December 11, 2010 8:22 am

    hahahaa…KK you are funny and jealous!!=D
    just because you dnt have the kind of fame Talat have..tsk tsk..i pity you!!Better luck in next life=p

  60. January 4, 2011 9:11 pm

    hahah. Made my day.

  61. July 29, 2013 12:59 pm

    unbelievable irrational column from a gentleman

Trackbacks

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