Reading Ahmad Quraishi in Lahore
I haven’t blogged in quite some while. Thankfully, Ahmad Quraishi has kept himself busy and provided me with the impetus to spitefully attack his latest piece. Tee Hee.
For those of you who may not know, Ahmad Quraishi is part of the Zaid Hamid – Shireen Mazari cabal of “America did it!” He is a self described “public policy writer, commentator, broadcaster, and blogger” and has a blog named PakNationalists that is “a forum dedicated to the rise of Pakistan (read: rabid conservative nationalists who have wet dreams involving placing a Pakistan flag at the Red Fort in Delhi and then launching a raid on Somnath for old times sake).
Mr. Quraishi recently wrote on the Express Tribune blogs section (I’m not entirely sure what the criteria for selecting bloggers for the ET blogs are, but skill is surely not among them) on the Nobel Peace Prize bestowed on Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobo. Oh, he was mad. So mad in fact that he probably sat down at his laptop and started typing furiously without a bit of research. How else to explain the fecal matter that he passes off as political commentary?
Mr. Quraishi starts his post with:
This Nobel for Peace has all the ingredients of war.
Yes, very good. Some Masala to get things started right. An indication to all to switch off the parts of their brains responsible for rational thinking and switch on the OUTRAGE AT THE WEST section.
He then goes on to list a number of countries that are ‘rising’ but have not voiced their outrage at the awarding of this prize. In this list is included Pakistan where the only thing rising is the population.
Mr. Quraishi actually lost me when he stated that the Nobel prize would be awarded in Belgium.
What now? Belgium? The Nobel Peace Prize is awarded annually in Oslo, NORWAY. All the other Nobel prizes are awarded in Stockholm. As you can see, Belgium doesn’t have shit to do with the Nobel prize. Unless, of course, your piece is ill researched. In which case, sab chalta hai.
The inaccuracies don’t stop there. In a section entitled “Mr. Liu never mattered”, the writer claims that Liu Xiaobo was “jailed for 20 months in 1989 and then left to lead a normal life.” Except for the time he was jailed from May 1995 to January 1996, and then sent to an ‘Education Camp’ (NOT a summer camp) for three years from October 1996. And, you know, the eleven year jail sentence he’s serving as we speak. So, yeah, normal life.
Mr. Quraishi’s general disregard for democracy is quite evident in this post. He calls the 1989 student uprising “so-called ‘pro-democracy’ demonstrations.”
First, Mr. Quraishi, those pro-democracy demonstrations are ‘so-called’ because they were in fact pro-democracy demonstrations. How else to explain the need of the Chinese government to imprison him?
Second, what is up with the obsession with this term ‘so-called’ in the Pakistan media? Everything from the War on Terror to the current democratic government has been termed ‘so-called’. For e.g. ‘This so-called democratic government.’ IT’S CALLED DEMOCRATIC BECAUSE PEOPLE ELECTED THEM INTO POWER, DICKS.
No piece by Ahmad Quraishi would be complete without breathless reportage on evil American machinations. This time he refers to the Americans soiling their pants at Berlusconi bathing the Colloseum in red light for a Chinese state visit. He also informs us of the durm und strang the US is suffering from at the EU meeting Chinese media demands. This information is not sourced. It’s not sourced because he and Shireen Mazari probably made it up while playing Go Fish with Zaid Hamid brand playing cards. A card set where Mr. Quraishi is prominently displayed on the Joker cards.
Adding to this is the fact that some Americans are raising the Chinese bogey in their campaign ads for the upcoming mid-term elections. Because, you know, campaign ads by crazy Republicans reflect the true pulse of American policy making. Just like Ahmad Quraishi reflects the desires and thinking of a nation of 180 million.
Now that the US has been sufficiently attacked, Mr. Quraishi feels the need to get some India bashing in. So he concocts a story about how India lobbyists are actually behind the China attack ads to take the media heat off jobs being outsourced to India. His source? This Joel Stein piece from TIME. I’m pretty sure one piece does not make anything common. And that one piece isn’t really attacking jobs being outsourced to India. It’s just Joel Stein being a racist asshole.
Mr. Quraishi nears the end of his piece by telling the world to back the fuck off and that China will eventually make itself a democracy that works for them. You know, like the one they have right now.
His finals words are, “The Nobel Foundation, Mr. Liu and the United States have no right to interfere
[in China].” He’s correct about Liu Xiaobo not having any right to interfere. As a Chinese person he should have no input in how his country is run or what trajectory it adopts. If only this could happen in Pakistan too. No, Mr. Quraishi?