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Geo-Political Theatre

August 6, 2010

As the War in Afghanistan seems to continue endlessly, it is of utmost importance to understand how the nations involved in this war behave. Thankfully, we have some Hollywood celebrities to help clear this up.

Since art imitates life, which imitates art, blah blah blah, let’s see which stars can most help us understand the countries involved in this war better.

Afghanistan: Paris Hilton

  • Famous for all the wrong reasons.
  • Everyone wanted a piece in the early 00s.
  • Eventually deposed by other famous for all the wrong reasons person Kim Kardashian / Iraq.

Pakistan: Lindsay Lohan

  • Careens from crisis to crisis endlessly
  • Most decision-making seems to happen under the influence.
  • Has deluded self into believing that crises will not adversely impact image.
  • Not really very popular.

India: Gwyneth Paltrow

  • Takes self far too seriously
  • Deeply enamoured with the Brits, still unable to quite master the accent.
  • Tries hand at things best left alone. * cough * comedy * cough* Commonwealth Games * cough*
  • Best friends with Madonna.

The United States: Madonna

Oh, the old gray mare, she ain’t what she used to be,

Ain’t what she used to be, ain’t what she used to be.

The old gray mare, she ain’t what she used to be,

Many long years ago.

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21 Comments leave one →
  1. August 6, 2010 6:40 pm

    Pure genius. Intensely evil. 🙂

  2. August 6, 2010 7:26 pm

    Sir, your knowledge of American celebrity is unrivaled. But, screw that, we are no Lindsay Lohan. We are at least a Kim Kardashian. We too have a big badonk a donk…..donk (behind), just take a look at the map.

    • August 7, 2010 10:54 pm

      No? Come on. Kim Kardashian’s dad was a relatively famous lawyer, the father of the nation was a pretty famous lawyer. Huh? Huh? See it yet?

    • August 8, 2010 1:35 pm

      Yessirree! We’re Kim Kardashian, and we have the videos to prove it… 😉

  3. Zunera permalink
    August 6, 2010 7:36 pm

    nice one!

  4. August 7, 2010 6:04 am

    haye bechara pakistan. manhoos ho tum.

  5. August 7, 2010 9:39 am

    Too good! 😀

  6. Randomiser permalink
    August 7, 2010 1:23 pm

    Add this for Lohan/Pakistan:

    Early promising career thrown away by excessive bad decision making, aided and abetted by wrong partners and irresponsible and exploitative guidance (Michael Lohan/United States, I’m looking at you).

  7. August 8, 2010 9:03 am

    That was hilarious.

  8. Gwyneth permalink
    August 9, 2010 2:11 pm

    Takes self far too seriously. Not India.

    India is in hallucinatory mode. National bird is Ostrich, unofficially.

    Tries hand at things best left alone. You mean Con-man wealth games or Congress wealth games ?
    Zardari saab is a baccha compared to the experienced ‘Raja’s of India, who con in percentages of GDP. its all in the games.

    Best Friends… no, only a wannabe, and therefore, a useful idiot.

  9. August 13, 2010 4:48 am

    Ahh! Brilliant! If there was a similar analogy with respect to porn stars! *must do research..shit its ramzan*

  10. August 20, 2010 12:47 am

    That was a treat!

  11. September 5, 2010 3:33 am

    You’re so mean. So so mean. Hilariously mean. AHLOVIT!

  12. Anand permalink
    September 22, 2010 5:20 pm

    As much as it irks me as an Indian, I have to accept the ground realities :D. That was hilarious!

  13. Chitposh permalink
    September 30, 2010 11:50 am


  14. October 26, 2010 11:10 am


  15. Ahsan Masood permalink
    October 28, 2010 9:30 am

    loved the bit about madonna lol

  16. November 14, 2010 1:31 am

    pure genius!

  17. May 31, 2011 11:34 pm

    As an Indian – fantasitcally funny stuff. If there’s one nation completely immensed in itself – it has to be us in India.
    Con-man games are just for the khan-crazy folks out there in the govt. they use mango-man (aam aadmi – common man?) to loot us normal beings.
    Prior reference about the Zardari being bacha in comparison to the gandhi family – that’s a huge understatement. Even with their fradulent land scams & what-not, Pak Army & ISI are far far better than what goes on as administration in “mera bharath mahan”.
    good one..


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