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May 19, 2010

It is no secret that Pakistan is in the midst of a vast global conspiracy to defame it. The aim of this conspiracy is to denuke Pakistan – in effect, castrate our great land. This conspiracy is at the heart of the American-Israeli-Indian nexus, an alliance forged together for the sole purpose of eliminating Pakistan’s Islamic bomb.

The good citizens of Pakistan must do everything in their power to avert such a calamity. As an upstanding citizen of this nation, it my sworn duty to blow the lid off this conspiracy. Come take a walk down memory lane with me.

It all started in the early 20th Century.  America was beginning to rise on the global stage, and to cement her rise she had to have a long term plan. The clever Jews sitting in the United States decided that the eventual goal of the American nation ought to be to denuke a Muslim nation.

To make this possible they had to set off on two plans at once:

1)   Create a weapon of mass destruction that may end up in the hands of a Muslim nation

2)   Carve a Muslim nation out of India

While they had their brightest minds start work on developing the theory behind nuclear weapons they scouted for someone to create this Muslim nation they were going to emasculate in the future.

Enter Muhammad Ali Jinnah.

A dapper young man practicing law in the United Kingdom, Jinnah was the perfect tool for the Americans. They wined and dined him extensively and told him he would save the Muslims of India. I shan’t bore you with the details of what Jinnah did later, but suffice it to say that in August 1947 Pakistan was born.

Jinnah had always wanted to double cross the Americans. Once Pakistan was created he denounced pork, alcohol, and Non-Muslim women. He swore to create a Shariah state where he could live out the rest of his years not having to look at another female face. Once the Americans learnt of Jinnah’s new plan they promptly had him assassinated and released a fake story claiming he died of Tuberculosis. They can’t fool us though – Tuberculosis is not even a real disease.

With Jinnah out of the picture, those wily Americans started the process of sowing seeds of discord between the early bureaucracy and military of Pakistan. Given our lack of Islam in those early days, our leaders gave in and declared Martial Law.

Ayub Khan was a great Muslim. His 10+ years in power were marked by his “Alcohol Ban 4 Life” slogan. The Pakistan Military has always protected Pakistan’s interests like that. However, the evil Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto saw to it that Ayub’s period of greatness come to an end. He riled the ignorant masses into believing in the Western Infidel system of democracy and rode to power. In the process he single handedly dumped East Pakistan. For that he must always be remembered as an America Loving Infidel Pig. The Zaid Hamid Center for Truth has various recordings of telephonic conversations between ZAB and America. Truth.

ZAB also started Pakistan’s nuclear program, which causes us truth seekers much confusion. Should we hate him for his secular love or love him for his Atom Bomb love? This is the question all right-minded Pakistanis ask to this date.

Thankfully, Protector-of-all-Muslims Zia-ul-Haq removed Bhutto from office. He took the Nuclear Weapon program by the reins and went into overdrive. Those clever, clever, CLEVER Americans decided to let General Zia go for it. They could then link our Nuclear Program to a crazy Islamist general. Let it be known that General Zia was no Islamist. He only wanted to bring stability to Pakistan. All talk of him being exceedingly pious is true, but talk of him being ridiculous is a filthy pack of lies.

General Zia kept receiving aid from the US for the Jihad in Afghanistan, and cleverly steered it towards the nuclear program. Our nuclear program grew strong! But as our arsenal grew, America changed her pernicious plan from helping us develop the bomb to snatching our bomb.

Unfortunately for us, while General Zia was steering money towards our nukes, the US was insidiously building terrorists all over Pakistan. You see, when we blame America more for the current fall-out it’s because we understand that America created Pakistan’s terrorists all by itself. General Zia was too busy guarding our national interests, to realize how America was undermining them.

The ten year period of democracy after Zia went was the penultimate piece in the American puzzle. They brought BB to power, had her taken down by street protests. Brought Nawaz Sharif to power, had him taken down by street protests. Ghulam Ishaq Khan looked on from the sidelines, his true allegiance to Pakistan and the Pakistan military – he wept on the inside.

To cement his democratic credentials, Nawaz Sharif decided he was going to test the bomb. Hence, he could become the most popular leader in the history of Pakistan. So, he tested it. We were a confirmed nuclear state, and now America’s vicious plans could begin.

The remainder of this story we all know. Jews hired beavers to gnaw away at the foundations of the World Trade Center, and then had some Mossad agents fly planes into it. America invades Afghanistan as the first step. They then decide that Afghanistan is not their target, and shift their attentions to Iraq. DO NOT chalk this up to the incompetence of the Bush administration – NO. This shift to Iraq was a strategic tactic, to let Afghanistan fester and spill over into Pakistan. They let tons of their own soldiers die so that it would look real. FACT.

Now, we see ourselves at the edge of a precipice. Cornered by the evil Americans we have been unable to make any decision of our own. Every single thing that has ever happened in Pakistan to bring us to the state we are in, has been a pre-planned, pre-meditated manoeuvre by the Americans. That is how helpless we have been.

We must break out of this mess. I have a plan, but Hamid Mir sent it to me on Facebook today. And the Americans told the Lahore High Court to ban Facebook. Curses!

8 Comments leave one →
  1. Ugly Shoelace permalink
    May 19, 2010 5:03 pm


    Zaid Hamid might even take this conspiracy theory seriously and let it traverse through those dark corners in his mind for further possibilities.

    Facebook is obviously another big conspiracy against our nation.

  2. Farhan permalink
    May 19, 2010 6:24 pm

    No wonder you’re blogging, this was a waste of my time…

  3. May 20, 2010 2:00 am

    waise ek history kitab likhi jasakti hai with this material

  4. May 20, 2010 8:51 am

    Loved the story ….

  5. Shahd permalink
    May 21, 2010 8:14 am

    This time it went too far. Nice work though.

  6. May 22, 2010 5:42 pm

    Oho! you forgot to mention amreeki efforts in transporting the amreeki-backed-talibans by chinook helicopters to Khushab so that they could get their thing going. Though, there was this another American Disarming conspiracy theory in a BBC show called Spooks, which essentially involved instigating a Indian-Pakistani War

    • May 22, 2010 5:47 pm

      Dude, I love Spooks. If only for the fictional world in which the British actually stand up to the Americans.

      • May 22, 2010 10:01 pm

        .. And the only season that I’ve seen has the American aspect in every episode, and they were always being irritating and meddlesome. Loved it!

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