Allah kay Hathiyaar
The Pakistan Army has recently commenced the Azm-e-Nau 3 war games to prepare the army to fight any conventional enemy (Hint: NOT the people blowing up innocent Pakistanis on a near daily basis).
For the purpose of gaining support from the Pakistani people for their military exercise (as we all know, the military deeply cares for how the public at large feels), the ISPR has released a music video, titled “Allahuakbar”. Subtle.
We will now spy upon a conversation between the two ISPR video editors who created this gem:
ISPR Hack 1: Catchy song right?
ISPR Hack 2: Super catchy. “Allah kay hathiyaaray? Muhammad kay lashkar?” That is gold.
Hack 1: Can you believe Kayani first wanted Zeb and Haniya over this amazing song?
Hack 2: To sing a song in non-Pakistani language Pashto?
Hack 1: LOL
Hack 1: Oh yea, make sure to insert this one.
Hack 2: The lady pilot? Why?
Hack 1: To burnish our secular institution credentials.
Hack 2: Haha. Psych!
Hack 1: And we’ve got to have this shot of us stomping all over Jinnah’s burial ground.
Hack 2: Like we do for ten years every twenty years or so.
Hack 1: Totes.
Hack 2: Taking the flag from a kid?
Hack 1: Easier than wresting control of the country from Zardari.
Hack 2: You’re too funny.
Hack 1: THAT’S ME!
Hack 2: Yea, but let’s not include you doing lame stuff.
Hack 1: FIST PUMPS ARE WAY COOL.
Hack 2: Okay, okay, chill.
Hack 1: Explosion!
Hack 2: Right in the middle of our troops!
Hack 1: We would so survive all explosions from a Hindu army.
Hack 2: Just like our troops did in this shot.
Hack 1: Mashallah.
Hack 2: Requisite diversity shot.
Hack 1: Repulsive diversity.
Hack 2: REPULSIVE DIVERSITY! Why are we including this?
Hack 1: Eh, the Americans love diversity.
Hack 2: True dat. Get them dollars.
Hack 1: All your base are belong to us India!
Hack 2: What the hell is that?
Hack 1: Internet speak.
Hack 2: Freak.
Hack 1: Uhhh, who let this shot of an unmanned plane in the video?
Hack 2: Oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
Hack 1: We don’t do unmanned planes remember?
Hack 2: I already published it on YouTube.
Hack 1: Let’s just hope people think its a nuclear weapon.
Hack 2: Yea, let’s.