Introducing the A-Team
Since I’m going to spend the majority of this blog talking about things pertaining to Pakistan and her politics, it is important to get to know the true arbiters of Pakistani politics. The talk show hosts. At the end of the day, these are the people who end up feeding information to us painted (tainted?) with their own views.
Without further ado, The A-Team.
Hamid Mir
Political Bent: Anything anti-American
Likes: Editorializing, being victorious
Dislikes: Asif Zardari, anyone in the Pakistan People’s Party not Yousuf Raza Gillani
Dr. Shahid Masood
Political Bent: Self-preservation
Likes: End of days prophecies, making shit up, Hameed Gul
Dislikes: Facts
Nusrat Javed
Political Bent: Left of center
Likes: Not much it seems
Dislikes: His idiot co-anchor, with a passion
Mushtaq Minhas
Political Bent: Anyone putting women in burqas
Likes: Nawaz Sharif, Shahbaz Sharif, Hamza Shahbaz Sharif, Daddy Sharif, Kulsoom Nawaz Sharif, the list goes on…
Dislikes: His co-anchor, changing hairstyles
Talat Hussain
Political Bent: Self importance
Likes: Appearing very important
Dislikes: EVERYONE (save himself)
Naseem Zehra
Political Bent: Kinda, sorta, left of center, wait, no, right, wait…
Likes: Hanging with the big boys, Shutting down PML-N weaklings
Dislikes: Her very yellow television studio
Asma Chaudhry
Political Bent: ALL OVER THE PLACE
Likes: Naseem Zehra’s 8 pm slot
Dislikes: Her own time slot
Najam Sethi
Political Bent: Pinko, Hindu lover
Likes: Listening to himself
Dislikes: Having guests on his show
Zaid Hamid
Political Bent: ISI
Likes: Self aggrandizement, hate speech, bullshit, crocodile tears
Dislikes: The truth
Shireen Mazari
Political Bent: ISI
Likes: Self aggrandizement, hate speech, bullshit, hairspray
Dislikes: The truth
Javed Chaudry
Political Bent: Jamaat-e-Islami
Likes: Spending 10 minutes of his alloted 40 minutes telling stories unrelated to his show’s subject matter, Firdaus Ashiq Awan
Dislikes: Liberal fascist extremist traitor swine
And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, the A-Team. I might be missing some people, but I think I’ve covered most of the big boys.
Coming up soon, the personalities that spend 5 hours a week in the studios / newspaper offices of the A Team.
This was pretty spot on.
Mubasher Lucman!….The more crass and loud version of Talat Hussain
yeah,that’s the glaring miss….but i don’t mind..the less of him the better.
sniff sniff… the sad reality bites – no english language anchor makes it, which is fair enough
I wanted to include Saima Mohsin, but didn’t her show get canceled in favour of Dawn’s new Urdu transmission? I could be wrong though.
Hamid Mirs picture is the best
is it just me or do these folks all have fox news equivalents:
talat hussain – bill o’reilly
bolta pakistan – hannity & colmes
hamid mir – geraldo rivera
javed chaudhry – jonathan morris (the fox news contributor catholic priest)
shahid masood – glenn beck
Yea, I see it.
and to continue the theme:
Naseem Zehra – Greta Van Susteren
kudos..great work!zaid hamid’s was a bit too off the hook!
include saleem safi!
Okay I like some people there youve mocked at but still… *LOL*
haha, this was hilarious.
can you do kashif abbasi, asma shirazi, the fat, balding guy with glasses (he’s kind a impartial?), and kamran shahid?
Effin’ brilliant man. First off, how did you categorise these guys without your head hurting?
Second, is Hasba-e-Haal our answer to Jon Stewart? God I hope not…
It’s like Dhaaba talk moving into some seth’s private study…
But anyway if you categorise the B Team talk shows – Imtiazi Sanads all around!
Pretty uch all of the “big”wigs
What about Mr. Kamran I-veil-my-ideological-comentary-as- an- impartial-roundup Khan?
@tlw: Hasbehaal as an answer to Jon Stewart…..Insane…It capitalises on the use of local vernacular, a very nautanki like albiet accesible sensibility but you have to literally strain your brain to find any sort substantive critique in there….Given the mind-numbingly tortuous workings of our media, you would have expected the relatively independent media to have internally developed a counter to its own self-congratulatory pompousness and to satirise the idiocy that abounds….
Guess we’ll have to wait for that Media Messiah who calls the A-team and the B-team on their crap.
Mubashar Lucman has an office in my building.. Sadly i too work in this building.. He is as obnoxious and odious in real life as he is on tv, and i see his face all too often for anyones liking.
Kamran Khan and Mehr Bokhari?
And how come Nusrat Javed is ‘Left’ of centre?? I doubt if he even drives on the left side of the road.
nice